


Rufus Rising

by athiker10



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Homophobia, Low Self Esteem, M/M, feelings of unworthiness, mild homophobia, personal conflict, personal issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:24:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athiker10/pseuds/athiker10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel and Castiel move to Santa Fe, NM because Castiel was offered the job of a lifetime. While there, they meet Sam and Dean Winchester in a small bakery called Rufus Rising.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First: Thank you to Kidezt for the beautiful art for this story, all found [here](http://kidezt.livejournal.com/7325.html). I am SO lucky to have this art, it is simply stunning. 
> 
> Second: Thank you thank you thank you to Mar_map (LJ user name) for the beta, my story would be far worse without their discerning eye. 
> 
> Third: Thank you to Asmodesgold (tumblr handle) for coming up with the prompt in the first place! (Prompt was: au where sam runs a bakery and gabriel is one of his biggest customers (mostly cause I don’t think gabe has the patience to actually make the stuff he’d rather it just already be there and ready to eat) and dean would come in and fix all of the machines in exchange for pies and one day gabe drags in cas and bam! sabriel and destiel
> 
> I ran away with the prompt and it became a bit more angsty/not quite the prompt anymore but that was the start!

  
The first thing Gabriel did when he arrived in Santa Fe, New Mexico was sleep. The second thing, which was under duress, thank you very much, was check out the apartments that Castiel had earmarked prior to moving. Castiel dragged him along because, he said, they couldn't live out of a fleabag motel. Gabriel thought the drug addicts and prostitutes who lived there added a little color to his life, the color Castiel was trying his damnedest to suck out, unfun loving stick in the mud that he was. Ok, maybe it would be nice to have somewhere to call home, somewhere that didn't smell like piss and five day old box wine; his brother wasn’t _actually_ a stick in the mud either.  
The _third_ thing he did was find the closest bakery to the apartment Castiel had finally chosen. It was a little homey place called _Rufus Rising_. The large hanging sign was faded, and the window decorations were curling out around the edges. It didn’t look like much, but he could smell the sugar wafting out of the door, tendrils pulling him in like a venus fly trap. And no, he wasn’t able to come up with a better metaphor, not when he hadn’t had a proper dessert since they’d arrived in New Mexico.  
There were only a few tables and chairs, display cases taking up two sides, cookies, cupcakes, pies, brownies and truffles in the side case and muffins, quiche, bagels, turnovers and rolls in the back case. Gabriel had his hands plastered to the sweets case.  
A low voice interrupted him. “Can I help you?” He glanced up. And up. In front of him, there was long shaggy hair pulled back into a pony tail, brown eyes and a _perfectly_ chiseled face.  
“In so many ways,” he said, his own voice lowering. “What do you recommend?”  
“Well, let’s see; what are you in the mood for? Cake? Pie? Candies?” The tall man’s hands were resting on top of the case as he looked steadily at Gabriel.  
“I’m always up for anything,” Gabriel grinned. “What’s your favorite?”  
“Dean always goes with my apple pie. How about that?”  
Damn. The good ones were always taken. Didn’t hurt to ogle, though, right? “That sounds great. I’m Gabriel by the way.”  
“Sam. You’ll have to tell me what you think of the pie.” Sam smiled at him. Butterflies he had never known existed made their appearance. Oh to have met him a few years ago, to have won his heart before this Dean. Ok, that was melodramatic, Gabriel admitted to himself. He could move on, could forget the dimples when the man smiled. He _could._  
“So, what’s with the Rufus Rising name?”  
“Friend of my family was selling, and I couldn’t let it go to some stranger.” Sam shrugged and pushed the plate of apple pie over. “That’ll be $3.” Gabriel handed over the cash.  
“So, you own the joint?”  
“Yep. Dean helps, but he’s more likely just to eat the pie than make it.” Sam shrugged. The effect of his large shoulders and puppy dog expression made Gabriel’s heart flip. He ignored it; the man had this Dean in his life.  
He nodded along, said his goodbye and headed out the door. The man may have been pretty, but he knew the wrath he’d face from Castiel if he was gone too long. They had an apartment to unpack. It really was unfortunate that he couldn't go back. Not with Sam so clearly spoken for. Then he tried the pie.  
His first bite was perfect, and he moaned, which earned him a glance from Castiel, who was unpacking his medical journals. “Cassie, you have GOT to try this pie.” He waved a fork at the pie. When his brother stood as if to come over, Gabriel sighed. “Not this slice; this one’s all mine.”  
“I don’t understand. What would you have me try instead? Air?” Castiel stood there, arms akimbo, and Gabriel rolled his eyes.  
“No, we’re gonna have to go back to Rufus Rising and get you a slice.” He heaved a sigh, pretending as if he were a woebegone miss from the 19th century. Castiel snorted and went back to alphabetizing of medical journals.

“Castiel!” He hit his brother’s prone body with a pillow that’d fallen on his brother’s floor. “Wake UP.”  
“Gabriel?” Castiel blinked at him, eyes barely opened. “S’wrong?”  
“What’s wrong? Only the lack of donuts in my stomach! Come on, we’ve got to go get breakfast!” Gabriel ignored how his stomach jumped at the hope that the giant, Sam, might be working again. He only wanted to go because, hello, add sugar to Gabriel and you get heaven. Obviously.  
Only, Castiel didn't seem to be aware of this equation. Gabriel hit him with the pillow again. It was only when Gabriel dropped an ice cube down his brother’s neck that Castiel got up, hit Gabriel with the pillow hard enough to make him stumble backwards and stomped off to the bathroom.  
When he pushed the door to Rufus Rising open, the warm smell of yeasted bread greeted them, and he finally noticed the wooden shelves holding baskets of fresh made bread behind the counter. There was a tall man looking bored as he absently drummed his hands on the formica.  
“Good morning,” Castiel said as Gabriel slid along the case, trying to decide what he should eat.  
“Hey, can I get ya something to eat?” There was silence for a moment, and Gabriel snuck a glance over to his brother and then had to look again. “He’ll have a coffee. I’ll have a hot chocolate and one of the chocolate éclairs and a maple glazed donut please.” Gabriel broke in. His brother was having a staring contest with tall counter man. Cassie, his virginal, prude brother was practically sparking.  
The man turned to him, green eyes meeting his. “You got it.” Gabriel glanced at the name tag to see that it read _Dean._ So this is the man that took Sam’s heart. He hadn’t ever had a chance. The guy looked like a male model. Heck, the two of them looked like models, so really, Gabriel should just be amazed that Sam _talked_ to him. And smiled. The smile that made Gabriel’s stomach jump.  
“Your donut and éclair." Dean handed a white porcelain plate with the sweets over. "The coffee and hot chocolate will be right up. That’ll be $10.75.”  
Castiel dug out his wallet and handed over a twenty. “Gabriel is very excited that you have a bakery here.”  
“Oh yeah? Well, we always love new customers.” Dean had an infectious grin, Gabriel realized; he was using its full wattage on Castiel.  
Gabriel had to pull Castiel away to a small, free table. A few minutes later, Dean came over and sets their drinks down, and Gabriel couldn't help himself . “Does Sam work today?”  
“Oh, no. He has an all-day class on Saturdays over at the university. He’s studying for his master’s in criminology.” So the man owned his own business and was driven to boot. He’s _taken_ , Gabriel kicked himself.  
“Which university would that be?” Castiel asked. Dean looked at him and quirked an eye brow before responding.  
“University of New Mexico, the only one around."  
“Thank you, Dean. You’ve been very helpful.” Castiel sipped from his black coffee, and Gabriel repressed the shudder at coffee with no sugar just in time as Castiel looked over at him.  
“You’ll have to forgive Cassie boy; we’re both very new in town, and he’s always slow to the draw.” Gabriel grinned at Dean before turning back to his breakfast.  
“Oh yeah? Where’d you come from?”  
“Jersey shore,” Gabriel said.  
“Gabriel, we grew up in Newark.”  
Gabriel shrugged. “Close enough, I say.”

“So, uh, you and your beau doing anything fun this weekend?” Gabriel asked Sam the following Wednesday morning. “I mean, besides taking classes for _Law School_.”  
“Uh, what?” Sam had this completely befuddled look on his face and if it wasn’t the most adorable thing in the world, it would have been the second most adorable thing.  
“You know. Beau. Boyfriend. Partner. Whatever you want to call it.” Gabriel shrugged but since Sam was still just looking at him, eyebrows nearly fused together he continued. “For example: Dean as your beau.”  
“OH.” Sam’s face cleared and he laughed. Chuckled, really. Gabriel frowned, wondering why someone would find what he just said funny. It hadn’t been mean, but he also hadn’t meant it to be funny. “Dean’s not my boyfriend, he’s my brother.”  
“ _Well now_ ,” Gabriel said, leaning slightly forward. “This just opens up for all kinds of possibilities, now doesn’t it? He grinned at the slightly nervous look Sam shot him. But then his phone went off. Castiel. “Looks like you’re saved by the phone!” He waved the phone at Sam and headed out.


	2. Chapter 2

“I can officially forgive Castiel for making me move to New Mexico,” Gabriel announced. Looking up, he smirked at Sam’s confused expression. “Your cinnamon roll. I believe I have finally found my favorite.” He tore another piece off and popped it in his mouth, savoring the cinnamon sugar melting on his tongue.

“Why’d you move, anyways?” Sam asked, leaning on the counter, smiling. Gabriel had to tell his stomach to stop quivering. It was a wonder he could speak at all when Sam smiled like that. 

“Castiel got the job offer of a life time, the chance to run his own research department.” He shrugged and took another piece. “Couldn’t turn it down, and it’s not like the kid can live on his own, so I came with.” 

“So what do you do?” 

“This and that. I’m a licensed social worker, so it’s not exactly impossible for me to find a new job in a new city.” Gabriel shrugged. “I’ve gotta know your secrets, man,” he said, as he finished up another bite of the cinnamon roll. 

“No can do, but I’ll show you how to make apple pie if you say yes to dinner with me,” Sam said; Gabriel gaped for a moment. 

“Uh, heck yeah!” Gabriel said, a grin spreading across his face after a moment. “What took you so long anyway?”

“What stopped you from asking me?” Sam returned with a grin. 

Gabriel shrugged. “Gimme your phone,” He wriggled his fingers at Sam. The man arched his brow in confusion, and Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Dude, you wanna do this dinner thing or not? You gotta be able to call me, right?” 

“Oh. Yeah, ‘course.” Sam’s phone is scratched up, an older version of the iPhone that had been replaced a couple years back. 

“Keeping up with technology, I see,” Gabriel grinned before tapping in his phone number and texting it to himself.

“Something like that,” Sam shrugged. “I’ll call you tomorrow?” Gabriel nodded before heading back out. He did have a job search to get back to and, much as he’d like to avoid it, well, Castiel might actually hurt him if he didn’t at least try.

When his phone started blaring ‘Bust a Move,' Gabriel started before remembering that he'd set that as Sam's ringtone.

“Finally,” he flopped back against the couch, as he answered the phone.

“Um, Gabriel?”

“Who else, Sammykins?” 

“Oh. Good.” There was a slight hitch in the man’s breath, and Gabriel wondered if the man could be nervous. But- well. He couldn’t be, just look at the guy. “Hey, there’s this restaurant downtown that’s pretty good, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go?” There was a slight pause before Sam added, “Together?”

“Name the time, and I’ll be…” Gabriel grinned to himself, "...ready."

“How about seven pm on Friday?” 

“I can come at any time.” There was a pause, and Gabriel wondered if he’d gone too far.

Sam coughed, cleared his throat. “Good to know. I’ll meet you there?”

“I’ll be wherever you want me,” Gabriel grinned. “Yes, I’ll meet you there. 7 pm. Friday.” 

“Ok, well, I have to go. I’m looking forward to seeing you then.” Sam’s voice warmed his chest, and Gabriel smiled.

“Gabriel, what a surprise!” Sam grinned at him, and Gabriel tried to smile at which point Sam’s grin faltered. “Is something wrong?”

“Car’s broken. This calls for chocolate, lots of it.” Gabriel sighs. “What do you recommend?”

“What’s wrong with your car?” Sam, of course, disregarded the question that would bring in money to his bakery. 

“It won’t turn on," Gabriel grumped. “I hate cars.” 

“Well, I could get Dean to take a look at it. He’s a mechanic actually.”

“Doesn’t he work here?” Gabriel frowned. 

“Only on the side, mostly he fixes Big Bertha,” Sam shrugged. 

“Your, excuse me?” 

“Oh, that’s my oldest big mixer.” Sam shrugged. “Rufus named her.” 

“Oh, so like I call my car Junker Jess?” Sam’s face clouded for a moment, and Gabriel quirked an eyebrow before going on. “So, Dean’s a mechanic? Anywhere I can get my car towed?” 

“Yeah, he works about a mile and a half from here. Let me give him a call.” 

“That’s great; you’re saving my life.” 

“Don’t worry about it!” Sam grinned as he held the phone, waiting for the other end to pick up. “Yeah, Bobby? Yeah, I’m good. I know. Yeah. Yeah… Bobby, look, is Dean there?”  
Sam fiddled with the case and pulled out a double chocolate brownie and put it on a plate for Gabriel. He felt like he might actually drool at the sight. “Yeah, no, Dean, I’m fine. I swear. No, nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s-“ Sam glanced over at him, and Gabriel tried to look as if he didn't care and wasn't listening too hard. “Off,” Sam said. “Just Gabriel, yes, Dean, the same one, his car’s broken. You got time to take a look at it if he gets it towed there?” There was a pause, and Gabriel almost felt like he was on tenterhooks. “Yeah, Dean, add it to my tab, just like that half a pie is on your tab.” Sam snorted. “Jerk.” He hung up the phone. “Yeah, Dean’ll take a look at it if you get it over there today.”

“You’re a Godsend, you know that? I could kiss you right now.” Gabriel grinned at Sam’s flush. 

“I-uh, let’s um, tomorrow still good?” Sam was looked at him through his eye lashes, hand rubbing the back of his neck

“Yep!” Gabriel grinned and took the scrap of paper with the address and name of the garage where Dean worked. “You’re a godsend, Sam Winchester," Gabriel repeated.

“Well, then you have to be a devil dragging me down,” Sam returned, and Gabriel’s eyebrows rose. 

“Wow, the man finally has a riposte. Sammy boy, I’m impressed.” 

“I know your type, flashy, all mouth," Sam leaned forward on the counter, "Think the quiet ones can’t keep up.” He slapped Gabriel on the shoulder with a chuckle as he stood back up. “Go on, get outta here, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“I like you, Sam Winchester,” Gabriel said. He tried the brownie on the walk home, and Goddamn, he was going to start advocating for gay marriage because Sam was the one. Gabriel was in love, and he needed Sam with him for the rest of his life. 

At least until he figured out how to replicate this brownie.

“So, how was your day?” Gabriel studied Sam over his menu.

“Uh, fine. Nothing strange. It was nice to see you this morning.” 

“You too,” Gabriel smiled, remembering how he'd stopped in to the bakery that morning for a chocolate croissant, before returning to the menu. 

“What are you getting?” Sam asked. 

“Well, I was thinking about just asking for the Chocolate Lava Cake, but I figured I should probably stay loyal to you,” Gabriel shrugged “Your chocolate is one hundred times better than anyone else’s.”

“You keep talking like that, my head’s going to need some serious deflating,” Sam smiled, and Gabriel almost sighed happily, like a thirteen year old girl.

“Well-deserved,” Gabriel teased. “Why do you think I agreed to go on this date with you?” 

“I thought it was for my dashing good looks and my charm, but I see that I’ve been fooled.” 

“Well, good thing I like your good looks and charm too.”

“Good evening, are you two ready to order?” A young, black haired woman stood in front of them, and Gabriel started. He had no idea what he wanted to order. 

“How’s the job search going?” Sam asked after the waitress, Amanda, left. 

“I’ve about got it pinned down to an art form,” Gabriel said. "But let’s not talk about that; it’s depressing.” 

“What should we talk about?” 

“You, hot stuff.”

“We’ve already covered me. How about you tell me why Castiel decided to come here?”

“So.” Sam’s stared down at him with a smile.

“So,” Gabriel rocked back on his heels. "I can’t pretend tonight wasn’t the best date I’ve had in a long time.” He took a step forward and reached up, pulling Sam down, kissing him. He forgot, for a moment, that they were in public, standing on a sidewalk in downtown. “You doing anything tomorrow?” 

“I’ve got class, sorry." Sam had this look on his face. It made him look rather like a puppy dog. 

“Hm. Well, how about you and I catch a movie on your next day off?” 

“’Haven’t watched a movie in ages; you’re going to have to choose,” Sam said.

“What? Why?” Gabriel thought he had watched twenty in the last month. It made him wonder what Sam would think if he found out. 

Sam shrugged and Gabriel wondered if it was possible to fetishize shoulders. If it wasn’t, he was making it a thing. “’Haven’t had enough time. Nothing’s looked good enough."

“Should we do something else?” Sam was a classy dude, obviously he wasn’t going to want to do a movie.

“No, no. Why don’t you take me back to your place and show me your favorite?” Sam grinned and Gabriel wondered if it was too early in their... whatever this is, to leer at him. Of course it wasn't. 

“There are many things back at my apartment, one of which is Castiel,” Gabriel said.

“Can’t he go out?” 

“Castiel? Being social?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Castiel is great but being social isn’t really his thing.” 

“How does he make friends than?" Sam seemed so genuinely curious. 

“Dude, I’m his best friend, and I’m his brother.” Gabriel took Sam’s hand and squeezed it. Sam smiled at him. “But he seemed pretty into your brother when they met.” 

“Yeah? Well, Dean’s a hard sell on guys.” 

“Dean was staring back,” Gabriel said. Sam nodded, looking thoughtful for a moment. 

“Hey, I don’t want to end this, but I’ve got school first thing,” Sam said, looking truly regretful. 

“Yeah, you’re a big nerd,” Gabriel said. He squeezed Sam’s hand again, leaned up and tried to kiss Sam’s cheek. Except Sam turned his head and caught his lips. Ten minutes later, Gabriel pulled himself away and sauntered down the sidewalk towards his newly fixed car.

_Do you mind if Dean comes along?_ That’s what the text message from Sam said two weeks later. Gabriel couldn’t believe they were still dating. He hadn’t driven Sam off. Who was he to protest a brother butting in on their time? No matter that Castiel had taken himself off to his room a week and a half ago, he had still been there when Sam had come over to watch Spaceballs.

Dean hadn’t been excited to see him when he’d had his car towed in, but as much as the guy might not like to admit it, they were far more similar than they were different. It was the whole big brother thing, Gabriel figured.  
 _I was thinking you could drag Castiel along. I think they’d get along._ That was the second message two minutes later. Gabriel put his phone away and went back to cooking dinner. He’d have to think about it. 

“Cassie, you ‘member Dean-o?” Castiel looks up from the book he was reading at the kitchen table.

“He’s Sam’s older brother, the one who fixed your car?”

“Yep. How would you feel about taking him off my hands?”

“You want to make Sam happy, but you don’t wish to spend time with his brother?” 

“I always knew you were a genius, Cassie,” Gabriel knocked his brother on the shoulder. He texted Sam back later. _Bring Dean, I want to see how the womanizer and the hermit get along this time._ Sam’s response was nearly instant. 

_Great! Want to time how long they stare at each other?_

Gabriel snorts. _Ten bucks on at least a minute._

A drunk Sam, Gabriel decided, was a lot of fun. A little bit off his rocker, but fun. Especially considering he was pinning Gabriel up against a wall, mauling his throat, hands going everywhere.

“Gabriel.” That voice wasn’t fun, so he ignored it in favor of sticking his hand up Sam’s shirt.

“Gabriel, if Dean has another drink, he might poison himself.”

He pulled away and blinked at the vision of his dark haired brother. “Huh? Oh. Right. You’re a doctor; you take care of him.”

“No-Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam finally asked, his hand wandered and came to rest on Gabriel's ass.

“Dean is drunk; I’m going to take him home just in case.” 

“Shouldn’t he.. He ok?” Sam’s brow crinkled. 

“I think so. With your permission, I’ll take him to my and Gabriel’s apartment and make sure he doesn’t kill himself.” 

“Yeah. Ok. I’ll come with you.”

“No need,” Castiel said, nodding and turning away. Sam turned back to look at him, and Gabriel sighed. He could not resist that look. It was impossible. It would actually be lucrative to bet on it. 

“Let’s follow them home. Just in case. We can make out like teenagers and embarrass them.” He pulled away from Sam, traced fingers along the man’s waist before tucking his hand into Sam’s giant one. The air was cool, and he could feel goosebumps rising on his skin. Sam released his hand and pulled him in to him. Gabriel burrowed into Sam’s side, and they weaved down the sidewalk, walking vaguely in the direction of Sam’s apartment. 

He almost wished they weren’t so drunk. Drunk sex was great, but sober sex was usually about ten million times better. Sex of any kind was usually great. Kali was the last one and she’d been a year ago, and it was kind of embarrassing it had been this long. Surely Sam had more luck. He glanced up at the tall, drunk man hanging onto him. Yep. Definitely. 

“How long’s it been for you, Kiddo?” He could not believe he just asked that. Well, he could. He just did. 

“How long s’what been?” Sam glanced down at him before turning them down the side street where Sam and Dean’s apartment complex was. 

“Y’know.” Gabriel elbowed him. “Sex.”  
Sam choked and then laughed a little, glancing down at him. Gabriel leaned up and stole a kiss. “What?” 

“You heard me!” Gabriel said with a grin. “I wanna know what I’m working with here. If it helps, I haven’t gotten laid in a year.” 

“Try two,” Sam said. Gabriel unlocked the door and swung it open. “And who says you’re getting lucky?”

“You are a tease, Sam Winchester,” Gabriel said. He punched Sam in the arm and kept moving into the apartment. Looking out of the living room window, he could see Dean’s Impala. Castiel must have driven it over. Sam slid his hands up Gabriel’s sides, pulled him back against that broad expanse of solid flesh. “Weren’t you worried about your brother? Shouldn’t you check on him?” Gabriel wondered where the

“Dean’s done this to me enough. Call it payback. Castiel will tell us if something's wrong.” Gabriel wondered just what Dean’s ‘done’ to Sam, but didn’t have the ability to ask, not when Sam’s doing such distracting things with his hands and his mouth.

Gabriel woke to a sun beam tickling his nose and getting into his eyes and rolled over and would have tried to go back to sleep, except Sam wasn’t there and he could hear the clinking of pots and pans in the kitchen. Someone was cooking breakfast and he hoped there was sugar in it. He pulled on his jeans, hopping to get the second leg straightened out and shuffled into the kitchen to find Castiel fully dressed but without his trench coat, making waffles.

“Cassie?” Gabriel rubbed his eyes and moved into the kitchen. “You good?” 

“I brought Dean here last night.”  
Gabriel studied his brother. “Where’d you sleep?”

“I did not sleep on the couch.” Castiel wasn’t looking at him, he was in fact studiously not looking at him, and Gabriel found himself sighing. His brother was 

“Cassie, be careful. After-“ 

“I know what you’re about to say, and I can take care of myself.” Castiel looked at him then and Gabriel slumped a little. He wished they were twelve and ten again, when it was easy to protect Castiel from their father’s whims and simple to keep the world from hurting his naïve, little brother. 

“Dude, stop mother henning your little brother.” Dean walked in, shirtless, and Gabriel rolled his eyes. He didn’t see what Castiel saw. Well, he saw, but the attitude that came with it was such a turn off. 

“Dean, I’m only going to say this once. You break him, you answer to me.”

“Break what?”

“Who.” Gabriel crossed his arms. 

“What? Dude, what are you on?” 

“I’m going to enjoy dismembering you and burying you where no one will ever find your remains. Maybe I’ll just dump itching powder in your underwear drawer. Guess you’ll-“

“Gabriel.” Castiel’s voice is loud enough to cut him off, and he sighed.

“Fine.” Gabriel crossed his arms and sat down. 

Dean glared at him. “Just so we’re clear, you aren’t the only one who knows how to make someone’s life miserable. Just ask Sammy.”

“Ask me what?” The big lug himself wandered into the kitchen, rubbing a hand over his face and through his tousled hair. His pajamas were slipping down his hips, and Gabriel knew he had to be careful or he’d start drooling.

“About the time I switched your shampoo with Nair, baldy.” Dean pulled the oven open to look at the warming waffles and then turned to Cas. “You want some help? I think I saw bacon in the fridge, could fry it up.” 

“I’d love your help, Dean,” Castiel said. 

“Were you completely bald?” Gabriel asked as he turned back to look at Sam who had slumped into the seat next to him. 

“Not at first,” Sam admitted, sliding a glance over at him, “but it was easier just to shave it all off after that.” 

“He was such a girl about it too, didn’t stop crying for days,” Dean said as he glanced back over at them. 

“Shut up, Dean.”

“Make me.” Sam frowned at Dean before turning back to Gabriel. 

He held up his hands, shoving back in his chair. “I want no part of this.” Sam snorted and turned away, making Gabriel wonder if he’d just ruined everything. It was so hard to tell sometimes. “Sammy, whatcha doin’ today?” 

Sam turned from where he’d gotten up to take dishes out of Castiel’s hands. “I was going to go to the gym and maybe spend some time in the pool; the weather report says it’s gonna be hot.” Sam without a shirt. Sam without a shirt using those beautiful muscles; he could just-“Gabriel?” Right. 

“Sorry, you said swimming, and I thought naked chest. You’re drool worthy; have I mentioned?” Gabriel grinned. 

“About twelve times a day, and my-“

“NOT while Cas and I are in the same room.” Dean pointed his fork at the two of them. 

“What about when you’re in the next room?” Gabriel grinned. He can’t help himself. Dean’s too easy. 

“Gabe, are you working on your applications today?”

“It’s your day off? Why would I?” Sam looked at him, and Gabriel frowned. He doesn’t like disappointing Sam, but seriously?

“Because you still don’t have a job?” 

Gabriel shrugged and cracked his knuckles one by one. “So?”

“So? All you have to say is so?” Sam had this look on his face, and it made Gabriel squirm as if he were a five year old being told off by his mother. 

“Yes?” Gabriel said. Sam stood, chair screeching back and stalked out of the room, and Gabriel found himself following. “What the hell, Sam?” he yelled as Sam was shoved his keys in his pocket, about to head out the door. 

“Look, it’s your job search, but I can’t watch someone I.. Care for just not even try to get a job,” Sam said, pushing a hand through his hair. 

“Dude. That’s exactly it. It’s my job search. Not yours. I think I can handle it.” 

“But what’re you going to do if your savings run out?” Gabriel just looked at him and shrugged. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Gabriel grabbed Sam’s elbow and led him out. “I don’t like fighting in front of my brother.” They ended up in the courtyard, which hopefully meant Sam wouldn’t shout at him. 

Sam just looked at him. “I know it’s not my business, but seriously? You’ve barely put any effort into looking for a job.” 

“Jobs aren’t my priority right now. My brother is. You are.” Gabriel shrugged. “Dean, too, I guess. I mean if he and Cas are gonna go at it.” Sam pulled a face. “What, you didn’t know?”

“Yeah but I just don’t want to think about it.” Sam shook his head. 

“Whatever you say, princess.” Gabriel shrugged. “But just so we’re clear, it’s not your job to worry about me finding a job. Have I shown any worry about finding a job?”

“No,” Sam said. 

“Have I asked you for advice?” Gabriel asked. 

“No.”

“Have I appeared nervous about finding a job?” Sam shook his head. “Then how about you don’t nag me about finding work? And just so you know, money isn’t an issue.” 

Sam looked over at him, eyebrows raised, and Gabriel knew he didn’t believe him. “Cas’ll cover me til I find a job anyways. He dragged me out here.”

“But then you’re dependent on him-“

“What, and Cas isn’t dependent on me? He’d go to work and eat and sleep and that’d be it. He’d slowly die a spinster’s life in his apartment without me. Seriously!” Gabriel said. “I provide a necessary service here.” 

“Ok, fine, just.. I don’t want you to run out of money and have to.. Move home or something?” Sam ran a hand through his hair. 

“Sam, I’m like 30, not going to happen.” That and the trust fund would ensure it. He hated his parents, but the money they’d left him, well, he wasn’t turning it down. “Besides, why would I leave? Santa Fe’s got you,” Gabriel said. He grinned when Sam’s cheeks went red. 

“Fine,” Sam said. He reached out and grabbed Gabriel’s wrist, pulling him closer. Gabriel let himself be dragged in, twining himself around the big lug.


	3. Chapter 3

“You haven’t gotten a job that starts tomorrow, right?” Those were the first words Gabriel heard when he answered his phone, cutting off the blaring of the song, Bust a Move. Castiel glared at him from across the room. Hey, how else was he supposed to know it was Sam? It was probably good though, that Sam didn’t call him when he was, you know, around. 

“No, sirree, what’s up?” Gabriel asked as he leaned back in the recliner. Castiel was sitting on the couch, reading some large tome on bones, which wasn’t his specialty, but when Gabriel had mentioned it, Castiel had just looked at him and that had been that. 

“I’m taking you camping.” Gabriel’s feet landed back on the floor as he sat forward again. 

“What?”

“Camping? Sleeping under the stars?”

“Oh, _camping._ ” Gabriel got up and paced down the living room. Castiel looked up from his book. “Um, will there be bugs?”

“Probably, but that’s what bug dope’s for.” 

“What about showers?” Gabriel said. 

“Uhh, let me see.” There was tapping on the other end; Sam was on his computer. “Yes! There are showers and flushing toilets. Nothing too rustic.” 

“Ok, but if I’m forced to shit in an outhouse or I get poison ivy, I swear I’ll go to Clafoutis Bakery for a month,” Gabriel said. “And I don’t have anything, so you’re going to have to bring it all.” 

“Great! I’ll text you what you need to bring for clothing.” Sam’s voice was so cheery that it infected Gabriel. He might actually enjoy it. 

“Camping?” Castiel asked, setting his book aside. 

“Seems so,” Gabriel said. He flopped back on his seat and looked over at his younger brother. 

“Gabriel, you don’t camp. You’ve never camped in your life.” 

“Always a first time, right?” Gabriel grinned at Castiel. “Besides, this means you get the apartment to yourself for 24 hours. Think about what you and Dean could do!” 

“What could we do?” Castiel stared at him, and Gabriel smacked a palm to his forehead. His little brother was a genius, but sometimes he just didn’t get it. 

“Nevermind. Castiel, don’t work through the entire weekend.”

“What else should I do?”

“Call Dean. Tell him to take you out, treat you like a real girl,” Gabriel said.

The alarm clock went off way too early. It hit the floor, as Gabriel rolled over and let sleep claim him again. The next thing he knew, he was being shaken roughly awake, and when he opened his eyes, Sam was looking down at him.

“Shit!” He scrambled to get up, feet tangling in the sheets, and all he managed to do was trip himself up, so he nearly fell off his bed. 

“Calm down! It’s ok; Castiel let me in.”

“But I was supposed to-“

“Yeah, I figured. No big deal,” Sam said. He shrugged and leaned down, brushing his lips over Gabriel’s forehead. Gabriel flopped back. 

“I’ll be ready in like ten minutes, just gotta get up and dressed,” he said. 

“Yeah, ok, I’ll just go drink the coffee your brother offered me.” Sam grinned and ducked out of the room. Gabriel didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky.

He followed Sam down the stairs, coffee in hand. He stopped though, when they came out of the apartment complex, and the Impala was shining black in front of them. “Wait. But,“

“The Impala? Yeah, Dean’s letting me borrow it for the weekend.” Sam grinned. “Crazy notion of his, thinking this is some romantic getaway, that the Impala’s good luck for… getting lucky.” 

“Your brother’s not as stupid as he seems,” Gabriel said. He hurried over and claimed the passenger seat. “Whatcha waiting for, big boy? We got camping to do!” Gabriel yelled, as Sam crossed over to the driver’s side.

“I can’t believe we’re not there yet.” Gabriel said. He rested his forehead against the window, staring blankly at the scrub brush next to the Impala. He’d named the bush George. They were friends.

“No one could’ve predicted that an airplane was going to land on the highway,” Sam said, his voice modulated. That’s what the news had said a half hour ago, just announced a disabled plane had landed on the highway a couple miles ahead. Gabriel glanced at him only to see a tightly clenched jaw; thank God he wasn’t the only one on the verge of losing it. 

“Screw this.” Gabriel reached over to the radio and found the local popular music channel. 

“Gabriel, what the hell?”

“Put the car in park and open the doors!” he said before he turned to grin at Sam. Up went the volume. Lady Gaga was perfect for this, after all. He got out of the car and started dancing around while Sam stood woodenly on the other side of the car. "Oh, come on, dance, Sam!"

“I, uh, no thanks." Sam was glanced around. Gabriel refused to follow his gaze. Instead, he just danced around and pulled Sam into his arms. Sam followed, limbs wooden. It took a few minutes of Gabriel dancing around him before he loosened up, smiling and laughing at Gabriel. 

When the song ended, he finally noticed that other people had exited their cars. They were clapping and laughing. "Mission accomplished," Gabriel said. 

"What was that?"

"Have fun. Make people laugh." Gabriel leaned on the hood, and Sam joined him, casually linking fingers and pulling Gabriel's hand into his lap. Gabriel might’ve melted into pieces.

“Gabriel, where are the keys?” Sam’s voice was panicked.

Gabriel looked up from where he was packing his bag. He wasn’t going to tell Sam, but he had actually had a great time. But it was Sunday and Sam had to get back to classes.   
“You put them in your pocket when we got here, right?”

“Yeah, but you opened the car last night, remember?”

“No need to be so harsh.” Gabriel stood up.

“We might be stuck here. I might not make my class; I don’t know what will happen if I miss opening for Rufus Rising. Stop kidding around Gabriel.” 

“I’m not kidding and calm down. We’ll figure it out, Sam. We’ve got this.” Gabriel patted Sam’s shoulder. “We just have to think about it logically.” He paused, and Sam huffed. 

“What about earlier? I locked the car and brought the keys back to the tent where I put them in that side pocket.”

“Shit. We already packed the tent. This is ridiculous.” Sam ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ll unpack and repack the tent. Why don’t you go fill up my water bottles?” Gabriel handed over the metal canteens. 

“Ok. Fine.” Sam grabbed the water bottles and walked off.

“Get the stick out of your ass while you’re at it,” Gabriel mumbled to himself as he started pulling the tent out of the stuff sack.

The keys were exactly where he’d remembered putting them. He tucked them into his own pocket and repacked the tent. Sam still wasn’t back, he opened the car and got out a snickers bar. They always helped when he was stressed out. When he was swallowing the last of the caramel goodness, Sam came walking back up. Gabriel pulled the keys out, dangling them. 

“Look, man, I’m sorry,” Sam started, as he took the keys. Gabriel shrugged. “I’m stressed out. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” 

“It’s your brother’s car; I get it.” Gabriel shrugged. “And we need to get you back so you can keep your valedictorian status. Do they do valedictorian for law school?” 

“I don’t know?” Sam shrugged. “I’ve been too busy to figure it out.”

“Well, they should.”

“Guess who has a job interview tomorrow?” Gabriel shouted as he came into the apartment he shared with Castiel.

“Hello, Gabriel,” Castiel stood in the doorway. “Dean is here. He was going to show me a movie called Star Trek?” 

“Dean-O! You better not be defiling my brother while I’m in the next room, bro.” Gabriel poked his head around the corner to see Dean standing over the stove, cooking. “Is that bacon?”

“You steal a piece, and I’ll tell Sam all about the time when you groped me accidentally.” 

“That’s not fair.” Gabriel pouted. It had been funny until Dean decided to use it as leverage. “I’ll tell Sam about the time I found you cuddling Castiel when he was sniffling.” 

“Go ahead. See if I care.” Dean shrugged. 

“Fine,” Gabriel huffed. “I’ll be in my room sexting Sam.”

“Gross, man, I don’t need to know that kind of thing!” Dean called after him. Gabriel smiled to himself. He’d gotten the last jab in. Dean was good, but he wasn’t good enough to beat Gabriel. 

Well, until his phone went off later, and Sam asked him excitedly about his job interview. He was going to kill Dean. Repeatedly.

“Hey! Did you get the job?” Sam called to him as Gabriel entered Rufus Rising late in the afternoon on the day of his interview. Gabriel shrugged, taking the pumpkin muffin from Sam’s hand.

“They’ll let me know in a couple weeks.”

“Oh! Well, that’s good, right? Means that they’re considering you.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Gabriel shrugged as he shoved another bite of the pumpkin muffin into his mouth. The interview had gone well enough, but the company was.. suspect. He didn’t like the guy who would be his supervisor. He had shifty eyes, besides, he was looking to change career paths, at least a little, right? 

“Tell me more about the company; you haven’t told me anything.” 

“Maybe later. I’m tired.” Gabriel looked up at Sam and relented a little. “The office was very… clean.” Too clean. Maybe that was the issue. He couldn’t trust an antiseptic office when it supposedly handled children all the time. 

“Clean’s good, right?” Sam smiled at him, and Gabriel found himself shrugging again. Maybe he wouldn’t take the job if it was offered. After all, the supervisor had creepy eyes, even if the pay was good and the reports said they were actually making a difference.

It was a month later and after he’d been rejected from the latest job (good riddance), that he received a letter from Anna. Anna had written to him. And Castiel. She’d left her phone number, telling him to call or text anytime.

It took him three days to share the letter with Castiel who then squirreled himself away for half a day only for Dean to come by, glare at Gabriel and drag Castiel out of his room. Gabriel pretended like his phone wasn’t burning a hole in his pocket, like he was deaf and couldn’t hear Dean yelling at him to just fucking suck it up and call Sam already.  
His phone had already gone off at least three times, Sam trying to call him, and all Gabriel wanted to do was pack everything up and move. How the hell had Anna found them? Except that Castiel had Dean. He couldn’t make Cas leave him, couldn’t make himself leave Cas.. And then there was Sam. Sam was nice, was everything he’d been looking for without realizing it. Sam had roots. Sam wasn’t going to just pick up and run. Gabriel scowled. He’d gotten suckered into settling into this city. 

“GABRIEL!” There was a pounding on the door, and Gabriel jumped. So, Sam did the pounding on doors thing when pissed. Good to know. “I know you’re in there! Open this damn door.”

Gabriel shuffled out and opened it just as Sam was about to pound on the door. “Or what? You’ll break your own ear drums? Knock the door down? Piss off my neighbors?” 

“I-“

“Oh, just get your ass in here.” Gabriel turned around and threw himself down on the couch. 

“Gabriel, Dean just dragged Cas back into my apartment; he looks like a wrecking ball hit him.” Sam sat down next to him, and Gabriel sighed before turning and propping his feet in Sam’s lap. Sam’s hands landed on them, and Gabriel tilted his head back; he could breathe this way. “Why didn’t you answer my phone calls?” Sam asked. When Gabriel snuck a glance, the man looked calmer, now that Gabriel had actually responded to him. Sort of.

Five minutes later, Gabriel heard himself speak. “I got a letter from my sister. Two days ago. Castiel’s furious with me.” 

“What, for getting a letter?”

“No, for not showing him immediately.” Sam squeezed his ankle, but Gabriel couldn’t look away from his own hands, knowing he was at fault for this entire mess.

“Well, why didn’t you?” Sam said, and Gabriel would have been furious if anyone else asked, but with Sam, it was different. 

“I don’t know.” Gabriel huffed. “I didn’t want it; I didn’t ask for it. I ran from my family, Sam.” He was bleeding raw here and could only hope Sam didn’t run. Or that he did run, Gabriel wasn’t sure what he wanted. 

Sam hummed. “Why Cas?” 

“What do you mean?” Gabriel looked up, and Sam was staring at him. 

“Well, you’ve still got Castiel hanging around. What makes him different?” 

“He’s Castiel. He’s, he’s always been there, seen me for who I am.” Gabriel shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt that he’s gay, and I’m bi.” 

“Was that part of it?” Gabriel rolled his shoulders, and then nodded. 

“My parents weren’t… Well, they didn’t really like that we weren’t going with the flow. And when they dropped off the face of the planet, my brothers kept up the same opinions.” 

“Being gay wasn’t allowed?” 

“It wasn’t not allowed,” Gabriel clarified. “But it didn’t really conform, you know?” 

“Yes,” Sam said finally, voice heavy, and Gabriel’s eyebrows rose. 

“How?” spilled out. 

“I lost my mom when I was six months old.” Gabriel felt like he was punched in the gut; he still has his parents, why was he whining? “And my dad just.. He dragged us around the country seeking revenge on an unknown.. He just lost it. He raised us the only way he knew how. He spent several years in the marines, and so he raised us like them.” 

“Your dad raised you like that? You couldn’t hurt a fly!” Gabriel sputtered. 

“I could compete in target shooting competitively if I wanted to.” Sam shrugged. 

“Jeez, Sam,” Gabriel ran a hand through his hair. “Make me feel bad about whining about my family.”

“That- I didn’t mean to. Sorry.” Sam’s eyes were his best feature, Gabriel decided. 

“Well, your childhood sucked, and here I am whining about voluntarily choosing to cut ties with my family as a grown adult.” 

Sam shrugged. “In some ways that’s worse, learning that your family doesn’t accept the way you are later.” 

***

Gabriel could feel Castiel’s stare the moment he stepped out of the car. It was unrelenting, almost excruciating. He ignored it. “Dean! You’re grilling; how manly.” 

“Like you ever would; all you ever do is eat candy.” Dean shook his spatula at him. “And it’s your fucking fault; we were ready to go here, but you decided to drag your ass.” Gabriel turned to go find Sam, and Dean yelled after him, “And you better fucking make up with Cas. I don’t wanna deal with two sets of puppy dog eyes.” 

Gabriel flipped him the middle finger as he walked away. He hated that Dean was right. He did, in fact, need to talk to Castiel. Gabriel hadn’t done anything wrong, but they needed to clear the air. “Castiel, brother-mine, what’s crack-a-lacking?” he called out, as he approached his brother who was leaning against the house. 

“I don’t understand.” Castiel furrowed his brow, and Gabriel sighed before cuffing his brother’s shoulder. 

“You wouldn’t. Listen, stop being mad at me so Dean can get a good night’s sleep.” He winced once the words had come out like that. 

“I’m not mad at you,” Castiel said. “Why would you think that?”

Gabriel spread his hands. “Because you’re acting like you’re mad at me.” 

Castiel grunted before shaking his head. “Gabriel, I am disappointed and upset that you don’t trust me enough to share a letter from our family. I’m not mad.” 

“I didn’t share it because that would have made it real.” Gabriel shrugged. 

They sat in silence, listening to Dean’s singing as he grilled and Sam was presumably inside, making a salad. It was maybe two minutes later when Castiel’s gravelly voice broke the silence. “Do you want to respond?”

Gabriel snapped his fingers lightly. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want to go back and visit Anna?”

Gabriel shrugged. Seeing Anna would be nice, but that would mean seeing his parents. And Kali. 

“Is it because-“

“Yes.” Gabriel cut Castiel off. “I need a beer.” He got up and did his best to not be stuck talking to Castiel one on one for the rest of the evening. 

In fact, it was amazing how well you could avoid someone you were living with and related to. It was weeks before he stopped avoiding Cas and walked into the kitchen where Castiel was sipping his coffee and staring off into space. “You’re going to take a week off work, and we’re going back to Jersey. Oh, and Sam and Dean are coming.” 

“Ok,” Castiel said after setting his coffee mug down. 

“When’s the earliest you can go?”

“I’ve already requested next week off. Sam and Dean are also off.”

“How the hell did you know-“

“I know you, Gabriel, and if you hadn’t decided, I merely would have gone without you and taken Dean.” Castiel sipped from his tea again. 

“Well, you’re just a party ruiner,” was all Gabriel could come up with. 

“That’s me,” Castiel said, deadpan. “Now, don’t you have a job interview?” 

“Yep! I’ll see you later.” Gabriel hurried out of the apartment, determined to put the visit out of mind.

Putting it out of his mind worked until he was loading his suitcase into Dean’s Impala, and Sam was looking at him, asking him if he was ok. “I’m not. I changed my mind; I don’t want to go anymore.” Gabriel went for his suitcase, but Castiel was faster, shoving his arm out of the way and shutting the trunk. Sam had him in the back seat of the Impala before he could even blink. “Aw, come on, that’s not fair! I call cheating!”

“On what grounds?” Sam said, as he pulled Gabriel closer into his side and stretched his legs out into Gabriel’s space. 

“On the grounds of you using your side to your unfair advantage,” Gabriel grumbled. Sam was warm; he could feel the heat seeping through.   
In southern Indiana, Gabriel had had enough. For approximately the one hundredth time. Unfortunately for him, Sam had managed to anticipate his every move. The only one left to him was throwing himself out of the car, which would likely lead to death or, at the very least, severe pain. There was no point in that, not when he had Sam-Candy here. Who happened to have a store of half melted snickers in his pocket.

In eastern Pennsylvania, he started fidgeting, talking until Dean told him to shut up or he’d be made to shut up with the threat of physical violence not far behind.   
When they pulled up in front of Anna’s house, a pretty little cape that was white with purple shutters, he would have made a break for it except for Sam’s grip on his hand. Ok, so he could do this. He followed Castiel up the short walk while Sam and Dean leaned on the Impala. He’d wanted Sam to come, but Sam had insisted that it wasn’t right.   
Anna looked the same. She had the same hair style and the same dreamy expression. She lit up when she opened the door and pulled them both in for hugs. When he turned back, Sam nodded, gestured, and Gabriel knew he had to follow. "Why aren't your friends coming in?" Anna said, catching Gabriel's attention again. 

Gabriel shrugged and in the pause, Castiel spoke up. "Our partners thought it would be better if we got to at least reconnect on our own for a little while before they tagged along."

Anna nodded. 

"What, no homophobic remarks?"

Anna winced. "I'd like to think I never took part in that." Gabriel snorted before he turned away from his long lost sister. 

"Gabriel, play nice," Castiel growled.

“Do I have to?” The look Castiel leveled on him almost made him take a step back. Castiel was fierce sometimes. “Fine. Sorry, Anna. I know you didn’t mean it.”  
“I’m just glad I have you in the same room,” Anna said. 

Gabriel shrugged. He wanted to remain on good terms with her; he knew Castiel wanted to remain in contact, but, considering the fact that Kali was Anna’s best friend and that she’d nearly taken Kali’s side, well, Gabriel had a hard time forgiving her, not when Kali had ripped his heart out.

It became clear that Sam and Dean seemed to genuinely like Anna. Sam kept asking what was wrong, why was he annoyed, and Gabriel got grumpier every time. Who wouldn’t like Anna more than him? She was polite, pretty and she knew how to take a joke. Dean was clearly enamored, but Castiel didn’t seem to even blink an eye. He knew he was being irrational. Psychologists he knew would say that he was displacing his anger at Kali on his sister because she was the closest representation he had. It didn’t matter, he was still annoyed at Anna.

Sam might well find Anna better in comparison to Gabriel, who was closing in on dumpy. His stomach wasn’t perfectly flat, and he didn’t have muscle tone, and you know, he was a guy. Sam liked both too; maybe he’d see Anna was the better of the two of them. 

“What are you thinking about, Gabriel?” Sam laid a hand on his back and Gabriel soaked up the warmth. 

“How you and Anna would make a beautiful couple,” Gabriel said. He stared at Sam for a moment, and Sam stared back, brow knit together. “Whatever, you know it’s true. I’m just.. Not.” 

Gabriel turned, meaning to leave their bedroom where he’d been hiding, but Sam’s hand stopped him, grasping his elbow. “Gabe, are you jealous?” Sam turned him and ran a hand through Gabriel’s golden hair. Gabriel blinked. 

“Nope,” he denied. “Just figured you two were fit for each other.”

“Dude, I barely know her, and I’m here for you, not your sister, who I barely know.” Sam pulled him around, looking him in the eye.  
Gabriel shrugged. “It’d be better if I left you, let you find someone better.” 

“What the hell, Gabriel? What’s gotten into you?” Sam frowned.

“Well, I’m clearly not good enough for you. I don’t have a job, I’m not polite, I don’t have a career goal.” 

“You know what? You’re clearly on a self-pity binge. When you get over yourself, I’ll be downstairs.” Sam backed away, expression dark, and Gabriel shrugged. 

“Good.” 

It was perhaps forty five minutes later that Gabriel decided he might as well go downstairs. He was hungry, after all. Sam was standing there, talking to Anna. He froze. Maybe Sam had taken his advice. It was.. It had been dumb advice. 

Sam looked up at him, and Gabriel almost looked away, but he couldn’t, and all he could do was try to ask forgiveness. It would be easier if he left, but for some reason, Sam seemed to like him. He’d come out to Jersey for him. 

“Gabriel, since you guys are leaving tomorrow, I thought I’d throw together a dinner party tonight.” Anna’s smiled at him from over her mug of coffee, and Gabriel tried to smile back. 

“Who would you invite?” 

“I was thinking perhaps Balthazar, Baldur, Sam- sorry, Sam, another one, Lucian- and Kali.” 

“No. Not Kali, Not Luci.”

“Oh, come on, Gabe, Kali’s my best friend. You two have to be able to get along for an evening.”

“Anna, no. Why do you think I moved? Why I stopped talking to you? You know damn well I don’t want to see her, not after what she told Lucian.” 

“Gabe, you have to get over this; you have to stop running away.” 

“Says who? You?”

“Gabriel,” Sam was standing near him, Dean and Castiel had just walked in from another room. “Is Kali an ex?” Gabriel snorted, wished he could deny it. “If she’s Anna’s best friend, don’t you think you two should make an effort at getting along?” 

“Of course you’d say that.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare take that tone with my brother.” Dean was somehow in his face and glowering down at him. Gabriel poked at his chest, pushed him out of the way.   
“I’ll do what I like. Sam’s a grown man; he can take it.” He wriggled his eyebrows, and then Castiel yanked him out of the room. “Ow, Castiel,” Gabriel complained.

Sam found him later, sitting on the bench Anna had conveniently put in the backyard. He just sat there, and Gabriel shifted, uncomfortable with the silence. It was odd; Sam seemed to know exactly how to get him to talk, get past his walls. He didn’t know how one person could have that much power over him, and damn, if Sam’s body wasn’t so perfect, he would have run long ago. “What’s wrong?” he finally asked.

Words spilled from Gabriel’s lips without him having given it permission to speak. “Kali wanted me to be a perfect boyfriend. She didn’t like that I wasn’t devoting myself to worshipping her. And when she found out I was bi, well, I bailed. And she got back at me by telling Lucian.”

“Who’s that?” Sam asked.

“He’s one of my older brothers. The other’s Michael. The two of them were always at each others’ throats. But Lucian, he taught me everything I know.” 

“Everything?” Sam looked at him, eyebrows raised. 

Gabriel snorted. “I always forget you have that sense of humor; no, not everything.” He paused, trying to find the right words. “He was the big brother that taught me tricks, he showed me around, he listened to me. Somewhere along the line though, something happened, I’m not sure what, and he changed. He isn’t the brother I remember anymore. And he doesn’t approve of any expression of sexuality that isn’t what he deems ‘normal’ and ‘right.’” Gabriel shook his head, focusing on his hands. “Kali knew this and she went out of her way to tell him I was bi. He lost it.” His hands were shaking, Gabriel noticed idly as he stared at them. Sam put his arm around Gabriel’s shoulders, pulled him into his side and said nothing. For once, the silence wasn’t so horrible.

Gabriel got along fine with Baldur and the other Sam. They were nice enough. He’d known Baldur for years. He did have a shifty look about him now, but they weren’t best friends anymore, so he wasn’t going to comment on it. As always, though, Baldur landed on his feet. Apparently, he was the CEO of a small, but thriving, finance company located in the area. Sam had nodded at the man before engrossing himself in some nerdy conversation with the other Sam, which could have led to no end of jokes except that Gabriel was too busy watching the door, waiting for Kali to show, wondering if Lucian would.

And arrive she did, with a red dress draped over her sinful curves, dark hair styled perfectly and a sneer across her lips when she spotted Gabriel looking at her. He winked and turned back to Baldur who was also watching Kali. Well, he’d always- Oh. Well, that made so much sense. Kali was plastered against his side, and she smiled at Gabriel, that plastic smile he’d gotten far too used to over time. 

“I can see you two wasted no time,” he said before he turned and walked away. He spent the rest of the time before dinner teasing Castiel, making Dean furious while he was at it and watching the door to see if Lucian showed. He didn’t, which made Gabriel grateful, easing some of the tightness in his stomach. 

Dinner was fun, if you could call ignoring two of the guests and only talking to the people you shared a car with on your way to New Jersey, fun. Anna hadn’t lost her touch in cooking; he had that much to say. Sam kept giving him strange looks but took his hand under the table. 

Once Anna had hugged Kali the last time, Gabriel sneered at her and Baldur; Kali gave him a haughty look and his two conniving ex-friends closed the door behind them. Anna rounded on him. “What the hell was that, Gabriel?”

“Only what she deserved,” Gabriel said. He crossed his arms and glared. 

“What- What she deserved? What the hell does that even mean?” 

“You invited Kali; you knew it would come down to this.”

“You know what?” Anna crossed her arms, glared at him. “I’m glad you’re leaving tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, well, me too.” Sam pulled his arm, grabbed his hand and led him out of the room. They ended up back in the guest room, ended up with Sam sprawled as he always was, and Gabriel was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. 

He didn’t deserve Sam who had put up with his tantrums. Sam could find a beautiful person to partner with; he just needed Gabriel out of his life. Gabriel was messed up. He couldn’t handle seeing his ex-girlfriend without going toxic on his sister who had every right to want to see her best friend. Kali hadn’t even done anything to him, not tonight at least. She’d barely said two words when she had tried to speak to him, brown eyes sparking. 

He waited until they got back to New Mexico because, hello, what shit head breaks up with someone before spending three days driving cross country in an old car with their overprotective older brother? He’s not a complete dumb ass. In fact, he’s just smart enough to know this is the best thing he can do for Sam. Gabriel is a disaster and he really shouldn’t expect Sam to pick up his pieces.

As they were standing outside, he turned to Sam. “Look, I know this is really shitty timing. But it’s better to just yank the cord.” Sam froze, stared down at him. 

“Don’t.” Sam said. “Don’t do this. Gabe, no.”

“I _have_ to.” Gabriel said. He could barely look at Sam. “I can’t not. We’re not.. We’re not meant to be.” 

“Why?”

“You know why. You deserve someone better than me.” Gabriel tightened his grip on his bag. “Look, you’re great, but I’ve got to go.” He turned and walked into his apartment and shut the door in Sam’s face. 

He spent three days hiding in his room, Castiel leaving food outside of his door. Ok, so he didn’t deserve his brother either, but it wasn’t like he could just break up with Castiel. One, Castiel was his brother. Two, Castiel needed him. He’d been telling Sam the truth, Castiel was a little oblivious to the way of the world and needed someone there with him. And yeah, Dean was kind of filling that role now, but it didn’t make Gabriel redundant. Not yet at least.

Dear Kali,  
Fuck you.  
All the best,  
Gabriel

He handed it over to Cas. Castiel, not Cas. He couldn't be seen following the lead of Dean. He'd never live it down.

"Gabriel."

"What? You said write a letter, so I wrote a Goddamn letter,” Gabriel said. He could feel his teeth wearing down as he ground down, trying not to explode into a million different, wrathful pieces.

"Gabriel, look at me." Fuck, his brother was persuasive at times. His eyes dragged up to where his brother was sitting across from him at the diner. "I want you to write how you feel."

"That is how I feel." He gestured at the crumpled piece of paper his brother was holding.

"Explain why," Castiel said. Gabriel sighed. There was no getting out of it now.

"I'll need a new piece of paper." Of course Castiel had a whole pad hidden away in that trench coat of his.

Dear Kali,  
Fuck you for screwing me over. I hate that you left me. Everyone leaves me. I thought you were different. I thought we would always just be. Why wasn't I enough? Did I not do enough? I missed you. Still do. Except that I've found someone new. His name is Sam. And it's short for Samuel, not Samantha. But you already know I swing both ways. I feel like I might be messing up with him like I messed up with you. It feels like he pushes me away at times but I think that's just me. I think maybe I pushed him away. I don't know. I'm still mad at you for just leaving and not telling me. But maybe I'll forgive you. One day. Maybe soon.  
Love,  
Gabriel

He folded the letter, folded it again and shoved it in his pocket. "It's private," he told Castiel who just quirked a small smile at him and asked the waitress for their check.

"Do you want to get cinnamon rolls at Rufus Rising on our way home?" Castiel said as they got up from the table a few minutes later.

"Yeah, it's been too long." Castiel doesn't bother telling him it's only been a week, really hadn’t been long in the grand scheme of things. Gabriel knew Sam was working today but can't remember if he still was.

"Sam, look at me." Gabriel followed Sam, as he pulled a danish out of the display case and handed it to him. That was Sam, showing he cared but somehow still resolutely ignoring him. "Sam, I’m on my knees here." Sam snorted at that. "Ok, not literally, but “I’d probably look like an ant to you at that point,” Gabriel corrected himself. "Please, man, I'm trying to apologize here."

Sam stopped, rested his hands on top of the case and looked at him. Shaggy hair almost covered his eyes. "Well?" Gabriel blinked at him. "I'm working, Gabriel. I don't have all day."

He was about to point out that there wasn't anyone else there until the little voice he never paid attention to reminded him that saying it might make it worse. "I'm sorry I acted like a dick. I'm sorry that I left you there by yourself. I didn't think through it. I just reacted, and I should have taken you into consideration."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, Gabe, you should have. How do I know you won't do it again?"

"You don't," Gabriel said. He felt ripped open and raw. "It's been my modus operandi. But I’ve never come back before.” He shrugged, not looking at Sam. “You’re special, Sam." He let the want bleed through, meeting Sam's eyes. "Even when I run, you have to know, I'll find my way back."

"I don't know, Gabe." Sam sighed.

"I do." Gabriel smirked at Sam's expression, although he didn't know where the bravado was coming from. "You are so much stronger than you think."

"Jess died, and I lost it."

"Kali wanted marriage, she wanted me to be straight, and I ran and didn't look back," Gabriel said. "Sam, I don’t want that to happen with us. I want us to be together. I want you to be there, and I want to be there."

"So be there. Don't run away."

"I haven't. I'm right here. Please, Sam." Gabriel was laid out, bare.

"Ok," Sam said. "Come over for dinner?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Gabriel said. He smiled slightly and knew he could rebuild with Sam. They would work. He just had to remember that.


End file.
